Being the woman HE sees

Hi Ladies!

Do you know what God sees when He looks at you?

He sees a woman of great strength. A woman who can heal from hurt and rise up again and do things even greater than she has done before. A woman who can LOVE openly, sacrificially, without comparing new journeys to the past. A woman with a conquering spirit to build up and fortify the relationships that she is in and support those that are in her world.

He sees a woman who is tender. A woman whom He designed to love like He loves. A woman who chooses to be compassionate and who naturally extends her hands. A woman with honest, with pure intentions.

He sees a woman with purpose. A woman who does things with intention. He sees you in your moments of anxiety. He sees you as you align your life with His will and as you journey toward that.

Today, I had a moment of anxiety. I was speaking with my boyfriend about his dreams and goals [this is the subject I like speaking of most in life]. While we spoke I had a moment when I recalled an incident where I had been really hurt in my choice to help someone with a dream of theirs. Now ladies, I'm being very vulnerable here...in that moment I physically had a hard time breathing. I walked away momentarily to collect myself. I had forgiven this person in my past. I was a woman of my word and finished what I promised. But this was the first time I was revisiting this life-dream-goal topic with the male gender and there in that moment were these emotions that I had to sort out quickly so that I could continue. When I walked away to gather my thoughts. The very first thing I thought about was how much I care about this man I am talking with now. The next thought was....'I want to spend my entire life building into the dreams of others.' Followed by the thought, 'You need to do this. One day I desire to be a wife who is this pillar of substance, strength, support, and faith for her husband building him up and encouraging his dreams......what I choose to do and practice today will directly effect the way I am able to do those things and to what extent in my future.' So, I took a deep breath and said, 'God, I want you to do this through me.' I was so excited to be having this conversation with him. The only reason why this anxiety came up was because Satan has a way of trying to use reflections from the past to cloud the future of what God is trying to birth in front of us. In those moments....we have the opportunity to choose. To dwell in anxiety is to remain in the past. To complete the conversation with such determination is to proclaim the substance that your faith rests upon and the hope for your future.

Where ever you are today, can I remind and encourage you of something? DO NOT. DO NOT. DO NOT......allow yourself to be defeated in small spiritual battles of the mind or emotions. As my sister would say, 'Get it together!' Choose to stand in the middle of the substance that your faith is formed in and be the woman your heart longs to be. The woman HE sees. And btw.....no one else has to know or see it. You don't have to tell anyone about your moment with God, You will naturally reflect His beauty by your choice in the silence. People will be drawn to you without knowing why....and that is powerful. In that exchange, God's greatness is magnified.

Gettin real with the girls...

Hey ladies!

So, It has been about a month since I have written. Wow, time sure does fly by! I want to share with you a few things that God has been doing in my life and also a few things that He has been challenging me on. Being willing to let go before you receive...refusing to give attention to what does not deserve your attention...and being honest even when you are not specifically asked, knowing that you will not look your best. I hope this encourages and empowers you.

Okay, first is this idea of letting go before you receive. God has challenged me on this before in the past but recently this has come up in an area of my life that is so close to my heart. This request I felt God speaking to my heart about actually came up in the same area on three different occasions. Each time, I saw this image of Abraham letting go of his son and watching his walk up a hill, feeling pain that he would have to say goodbye. Each time I saw this image I felt God challenging me to literally say to him, "God I'm okay with your will and am willing to let this go if that is what you desire." You know, it wasn't that I thought I was necessarily going to loose that desire in my life, but more that I felt God challenging my faith to see if I would confess with my mouth that I was okay and would trust him, even if I was sad or disappointed. The Bible talks about how out of the heart the mouth speaks...the things we proclaim in our hearts often need to be verbalized to assure our faith. Its not that God needs our assurance, but more so that He wants to see us holding onto Him alone.

The next thing I want to share with you is more of a question. Are there things or people in your life that you are giving attention to that are not lined up with God's priority for your life right now? Why do we entertain these ideas or in some cases, individuals. Maybe, we feel bad. Maybe, we do not know how to say 'NO'. Maybe, we think things will turn out differently. Maybe, we are trying to be kind. I want to share a personal story with you. A little over a month ago I shared with a man, I am now in a relationship with, a story about some pain I had experienced from a man in my past. I was open and honest, but also a little afraid. You see, I've always been the type to push myself, even in fear. Some might think, "Wow, she's super brave," but the truth is I'm just stubborn and refuse to be pushed around by a little fear. Well, that night after having that conversation I had a dream. There was no sound in my dream and the only thing I saw was this beautiful female figure suspended on one side of a line. On the opposite side of that line was this image of a person who was so honest and intentional. I woke up and knew instantly, that if I did not try with all of my heart I would loose my chance. I felt this assurance that I would not experience the same sort of pain that I had before.

Ironically, about 10 minutes later I was getting ready and received a text message from the very person who had caused all that pain well over a year ago. It read, "I miss you." Ladies, you know how certain words strike your heart....well, a year ago that text would have caused me to rethink everything I was getting ready to embark on. Yet, in that moment I looked in the mirror and literally said out loud, "You are going to cross that line and never look back and thought....Satan will have no room to cause doubt in my future love [whomever God deems]. I deleted that message and carried on. You see ladies, sometimes the very best thing you can do for yourself is to trust God just enough. It's not a matter of what you see in the physical but what you are believing in faith....beyond that line of security or fear.

One last thing that is on my heart today that I want to share with you is what real honesty looks like. Each of us has at least one area of our life that is muddled, or flawed. [to be continued....something just came up that needs my immediate attention.]

Love you ladies
Andrea

Forgiveness: Beginning to talk about it...

Good Evening Girls!

So after writing daily for 35 days and confronting the BUTs in our faith statements I was really unsure where to go next. What to write about from here? Do I continue to write daily or go back to every-so-often? I have spent the last week praying about this and this morning I woke up with the subject of forgiveness on my heart. The weight of the topic actually brought me to my knees and to tears. There is so much I want to talk with you about and I hope you are able to share some of your stories too. I really believe that this is an issue that many women and men deal with and one that is so close to the heart of God. I'm not sure what this chapter of the blog will look like fully....so I'll keep you 'posted' ;). For now, I want to begin by sharing this song that speaks to the heart of forgiveness. Looking forward to exploring this with you.




Lots of Love,
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 35 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 35 of 35
It is finished. :)

Well, beautiful woman....where-ever you are in the world today....we've come to the end of our 35 day Challenge. These last 35 days have been soooooo good for me and I hope this challenge to eliminate the BUTs in your faith statements has pushed you, has encouraged you, and perhaps has even helped to bring restoration. As a conclusion I want to take a few minutes to share with you a few things that I hope continue to shed light on any life circumstance you might be facing. God's plans for you are to prosper. Never to harm you, but to give you a hope and a future that is exceedingly and abundantly beyond anything that you could ever ask or think. Remember that you already have the greatest love that anyone could ever know.



Faith is a process, but the testing of it creates the substance of the VERY promise you are waiting for. Hold tight and get ready for the adventure of your life!!!!


xoxoxoxx
Love you so much my sister
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 34 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 34 of 35
Eat lunch, look out the window, and smile @ the fact that a building is blocking your view

One more sleep ladies. Today, I sat in a booth at Sweet Tomatoes for lunch and listed out my goals for the next year....periodically I stopped and looked out the window to see what I could see from my current perspective. Not much to tell you the truth. As I looked, I saw a couple buildings, but all else was blocked by their size and volume. I smiled thinking....there is so much more beyond what I do not see. Today, where ever you are and what ever is in front of you. Stop. Smile. Perhaps, look out a window...and smile at the buildings that are blocking all that you do not see. It won't take that long to walk around them.

xoxoxo
Until tomorrow.

Lots and lots of Love
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 33 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 33 of 35
Looking into the future and smiling at the unseen

Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. With only a two more days of this challenge, two more days til my 25th birthday, and two more days until the cut off for my birthday fundraising for Watoto Babies home....I can't help but smile at all that God has been doing in the last month. I'm not totally sure what He has in store around the corner. But whatever it is I am ready and so excited to be a part of His plan. This BUT eliminating challenge has stirred up so much in me and in some of you and I am so glad to see how God is stretching our faith and adding to its substance. Ready for the unseen? Don't grow weary at the end of the race.....when you are so close to the finish line. Look up and smile at what's around the corner.

Lots of Love,
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 32 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 32 of 35
Stuck inside your head

Last night someone said something to me that I thought was quite simple but also quite profound....He said, 'When we are worried or doubting its usually because we are stuck inside our own head.' This is very true. When we get consumed with the BUTs in our faith statements it is usually because we are stuck in our own reasoning....and sometimes lack of reasoning. What does it look like when we go beyond ourselves? When we shift our focus from our now concern and doubt to reaching out to another with the same concern and energy. If you feel lonely, why not give of your time? If you are wanting financial blessing...why not give of your finances? If you want someone to listen, why not listen first? If you are wanting restoration, have you thought about the parts of you that you can change? A client of mine donated money to my birthday wish recently and I was so very touched by her generosity. When I thanked her, she simply replied....'Andrea, that's the only way I know how. My husband and I have been so blessed and whenever we desire something from God, we give in that capacity. So, when we want financial blessings, we give out of our finances.' I agree with this 150%. Its often why I take out single girls or my sister on valentines day. [No, not because I would rather spend Valentines with a chic ;) ] BUT, because I want that girl to know how truly valuable and special she is and though the romantic ideals and pressures that are poured into young women are beautiful, they can be dangerous if taken out of context. Today, why don't you write down one thing that you are trusting God for and instead of listing all the possibilities of failure list all the ways you can show this towards someone else. I guarantee that if you take God at His word, He is more than enough and will take what you are dreaming and believing for and magnify it to catch you in complete AWE.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 31 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 31 of 35
We are doing this together

Ladies, we have just 4 days to go and what I want you to know is that where ever you are at in your life, whatever you are believing God for, whatever doubts and BUTs you are trying to eliminate....You are not doing this alone. We are doing this TOGETHER! I was watching my girls basketball team last night and looking at some of the individual strengths and weaknesses and then started to connect some of my own strengths and weaknesses and had this gentle nudge reminding me that when you are a team...you do not get kicked off for what you struggle with. When you are a real team, you look at those things together and tackle them together. You are not alone. I am praying for you tonight and whatever you are believing God for in your life, know that there is a time to every season and a purpose for everything.

Lots of Love,
Andrea

Ps. Please keep praying for my birthday wish. Really excited to see how God multiplies things in the next 4 days. www.toloveoneanother.com

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 30 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 30 of 35
Being Proactive

Good-Day Ladies!

So we are coming to an end of this 35 Day Challenge, with only 5 more days to go. Eliminating doubts in our faith statements certainly is a process. We talked about using our energy for other things in the process of seeing our faith statements fulfilled, but there are also some things we need to cut out to keep us moving forward. For some it might be negative remarks. For others it might mean that we have to be more open. Yet, others it might mean remaining more reserved. Last night I was praying about something that was really close to my heart and went for a run to try to get some clarity and also just to keep fit ;)....I love running. I think in our faith, we need to run straight towards God, straight towards His will, running full speed in the exact path that He is laying out for us.....without reserve or fear. In my particular situation it means that I have to be more open at times, even when it reveals that I am not perfect. I know this, but I don't think any of us like to show that we aren't completely together...even if most of our lives are. But that's just the thing....we are ONLY complete in Christ, and it is not wrong to have these doubts and worries.....but what is important is how we deal with them. After some prayer and talking through what was on my heart. I felt such a sense determination and peace. Determination in the sense of not allowing what my concerns might be to hold me from what I desire. If we are trusting God fully the concerns will take care of themselves in time. 'Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.'

How is this related to being proactive? Being proactive in what we are believing God for takes a shear determination to run and not grow weary. To walk on water and not look down. So we have to make daily choices to change certain things, keeping us moving forward without looking back.

It also takes forgetting things of the past. This is a tricky thought actually.....it's important to learn from the past but it is also important to leave the past there. This morning I received a message that was quite a surprise. For me, the only option I had was to delete. Sometimes that's what we need to do in our spiritual walk to build our faith, delete the things that are causing our doubt. I was speaking with a married friend today and was so heart broken listening to how her marriage is not what she desires. I love this woman so dearly, and hearing her sound so disappointed was devastating. However, no matter what your situation or how hopeless you feel....even if it is something like, 'God I believe my marriage will be a blessing, BUT we just don't see eye to eye.'God has a way of changing our perceptions and turning what once was so far away into something so beautifully close. I have witnessed restored marriages. Forgiveness for things unfair. Consistency even in the storm. I have watched God move in ways beyond what we anticipate. Girlfriend, today be encouraged that what you are doing today will change what your future looks like. The small things you are doing to change, may not be perfect but they are drawing you closer to Him.

Lots of Love,
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 29 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 29 of 35
Girls, I wish I could stand in front of your heart with a sword!

One of the more difficult things about eliminating the BUTs in your faith statements, is found in why we insterted the BUT to begin with. For some of us it has been hurt or disappointment. I wish I could be this Joan of Arc and stand in front of our hearts to protect them. This is exactly why guarding your heart is so important. But, that is what God wants to do for us. But our part is laying downing our concerns at His feet.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 28 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 28 of 35



Verses to encourage you:

'In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us' Romans 8.37

'And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those aho are called according to His purpose.' Romans 8.28

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' Phil 4.13

'For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.' Eph 2.10

'Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.' Eph 6.10

'The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe.' Prov 18.10

'But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles.' Isaiah 40.31

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 27 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 27 of 35
Stillness

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I have an abundance of energy most of the time. You know that I somehow juggle 45 things in a small window of time......but you also know that the opposite side of that strength is that I have in the past struggled with stillness. What is stillness? For a fast-paced person who is goal oriented and extremely driven.... naturally, stillness can feel like the opposite of productivity. However, stillness is not failure. It is not stagnate. True stillness is a beautiful picture of trusting and waiting on God. A calm in the storm. A deep breath in the middle of the unknown and a steady demeanor. When Jesus went fishing with his disciples and a storm arose, He did not panic; he slept. There are those who mistake laziness for stillness and I ABSOLUTELY LOATH the phrase: 'It is what it is.' I feel that phrase is the epitome of complacency. BUT stillness is accepting that God is in perfect control and that our concern and worry need to pause and allow room for Him to move.

Last night, as I went to bed I had this concern on my mind. I prayed about it but then woke up around 3am, thinking about the same thing. I prayed and asked God if it was intuition or fear? I really wasn't sure. I asked Him to help me discern the difference. I tried to go back to sleep but had a hard time at first, then smiled and thought to myself.........you know what? This really does not matter right now. What I know about God's character and promises are TRUE. He sees this giant picture and wants to be the knight in shining armor protecting my heart and future, I just need to allow Him the time. I quickly fell back asleep and woke up this morning with such a peaceful stillness. 

Ladies, we have 8 more days of this challenge. What does that look like for you? Are you finding a stillness, a sense of peace in your faith statements? Are you letting your statements just be or are you still adding your BUTs in the middle of them? Let's push through and in the next 8 days expect the things we desire from God and trust Him in the unknown. KNOWING that He has such a love for us that we can't escape. Nothing can separate us from His love. He sees you. He hears your deepest desires. Trust in Him even when you feel He is far away. Hold onto His promises. He can hear you in the silence. HE is not that far away. Here is a song I pray builds you up today. I love you world changing woman! Your life has such significance.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 26 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 26 of 35
Consistency

I think one of the most important character qualities is consistency. I am far from perfect at this but remaining steady and consistent is one of the best qualities a person can have. Loyalty. Collective. Steady. Strong. True. Dependable. Having faith is not doing one thing one time. It is doing that one thing over and over and over again.....even when you don't see results right away. It is being the change you want to see. It is being the hands and feet of God's love in action. It is staying strong, even when your heart and feelings are weak. It is an inner strength. It begins with a simple action. And then is repeated over and over again without fail. My prayer is that in this life I will be a woman of consistency. A woman who is dependable. A woman who is loving no matter what hurt or disappointment comes. A woman who is a supporter and encourager even when things do not go her way. God help me. Help us. Be OUR strength.

Lots of Love,
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 24 & 25

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 24 & 25
Faith w/intent...

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase actions speak louder than words. We often think it and hope for it....but do we hold ourselves to that same level of accountability? The last two days have been really full on with a project at work. Within the last few days.....in so many areas of my life I have watched and observed those around me putting actions to their words. It has literally brought tears to my eyes at certain points and a skip in my step when the 'unexpected' arises. I love how God's timing is absolutely perfect. He knows exactly when to move and He sure does give us exactly what we need the hour we need it. While observing those around me the last 48 hours and taking note of how those in my world have blessed me and all those they are reaching, I have felt such a sense of peace and knowing. The Bible talks about how faith comes by hearing. My faith in every little thing was built up by those who chose to put feet to their words. It makes everything stronger. I wonder if God feels the same way when we put feet to our faith statements? We are created in His image. Although....He is divine and perfect. He does also feel....When we put intention behind and around our faith statements does it empower those closest to us? Does it reveal to God our sincerity? I believe it does.

Someone mentioned to me the other day this thing about knowing. I thought it was quite profound. You see knowing is a process. After all, only in God are we 'Fully known'. But knowing takes action and choice. I have always felt that few people in my life truly 'know' me. I am sure you have probably felt the same at some point. Though I am quite open, there is a lot that people do not see. But when a person chooses to know. They question. They act. There is intent. I think the same is true with the building of our faith statements and eliminating our doubts within our faith statements and requests. If me move in our faith with intent.....how much further will we go.

Lots of Love.....& hey, only 10 more days :)
Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 23 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 23 of 35
Trusting your best friend...

Most days as I go throughout my day and talk to God as I go, I refer to Him as my best friend. This morning. I opened my eyes about 30 minutes after my 4am alarm went off [which I turned off in my sleep] and literally said out loud, "My BEST friend, THANK YOU for waking me up!" Today was a FULL day and certainly not one to sleep in late. I had such a good day all around being so blessed by my students and a productive evening hanging artwork. Around 8pm, I took a little break to go for some dinner. Zabas my favorite fish taco place! As I drove there I started praying about these faith statements of ours. You know, I am finding myself very calm about this area. It truly is amazing what fasting and prayer will do. As I was praying and driving to Zabas, I talked to my BEST friend, my Lord and Saviour [Jesus Christ]. I started thinking about how easy it is for me to trust Him, because He truly IS my very best friend. Of everyone in my world.....it is Him who has never left my side for a single second. Sometimes in prayer I feel so close to Him and secretly wish I could just sneak up to heaven for a bit to literally walk with Him.

So, tonight after ordering my tacos and getting back into my car I started to think about how many of you may not ever think about Jesus as your BEST friend. Maybe you have never even thought of this idea? Maybe you like the sound of it, but just don't feel it? Maybe He was, but now seems so far away? The Bible says that He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us and that if we acknowledge Him in all our ways He will direct our paths. Perhaps, the reason why the BUTs keep returning in your faith statements is because you are not trusting in your BEST FRIEND. I know when I keep things in that perspective my faith increases 10-fold. Maybe try calling him your best friend today. It not only will add to your faith, but will draw you closer to a dependence on Him.

Good Night Beautiful Girls.
Lots of Love,
Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 22 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 22 of 35
The Best Advice Ever

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 21 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 21 of 35
Do you want things to change?

Okay, here's the thing about faith.....you have to really believe it. Not just saying the words....but put movement to your faith. When did faith become unmoving? When did faith stop consuming?

I think often the reason why our faith statements are not being fulfilled is because we are placing limits on our requests to God. We are placing limits on what we want to believe Him for. We are becoming okay with what we currently see instead of believing Him for what we really want and desire.

I was reading today in John 5 at church and a point was made that I feel is so relevant to how we hinder our faith with our BUTs. John 5 talks about the lame man who had literally been stuck on a matt for 38 years! When Jesus asked him why he had not gotten up and he explained that he could not and he had no one to help him. He had been waiting for SOOOOOO long for someone to help him that he became stuck. You see he didn't choose to be sick, like many of us....we do not always choose the situations life throws at us.....but he chose to stay there. And WE CHOOSE to stay here. Ladies......what is your matt? What are you waiting for someone to help you out of? What is the one thing that is hindering what you are desiring God for?

Jesus replied to the lame man so simply....
1. Get up
2. Pick up your matt [stop sitting on it]
3. Walk

I believe this is exactly how we are to walk into our faith and into God's promises. Whatever your BUT is.....lets not wait around for someone to come and pick us up. Will it be 38 years? It can change quite simply.....we just have to get up. The longer you sit, the weaker your muscles get to stand.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 20 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 20 of 35
What are you saying????

Today, I stopped into a gas station to get a gatorade....as I am still fasting coffee.
Although, I do miss my coffee, every time I pass a starbucks or order a passion tea instead, it brings a smile to my face knowing that what I am praying for is so much more important to my heart than my sugar free vanilla soy latte.

Okay....back to the gas station story....
When I walked to the counter there was a man checking out and two women behind the register chatting away. One woman began complaining about how much she wanted a husband and how she didn't think she'd ever get one. At this point, I was most interested in the man's expressions at the counter. Really, women should wear warning signs for men when these conversations begin.....but to my surprise this gentleman was all smiles. She carried on and on and finally I looked at her as I stood behind the smiling man and said 'My dear, don't be so negative on yourself......you never know when the man of your dreams is gonna come marching through those doors.....do you honestly think he wants to hear you talking like this?'

Oh.....my.....goodness......ANDREA! What came over me to say this to a complete stranger.....I have NO CLUE! But that gentleman turned and smiled at me with the biggest grin and then everyone burst into laughter. My response came so quickly from my heart and probably was fueled by this BUT kicking challenge.....

So, ladies....how are you doing? What BUTs in your faith statements are you trying to kick out? How are things coming? If we stop allowing these BUTs to come out of our mouths, eventually our minds will forget them too. Message me how things are going on your end. Would love to hear. Praying for you daily and am so excited to see all that God has in store for us in the next 15 days.

Lots of Love,
Andrea
andrea@andreaperkins.com

Day 19 of the 35 Day Challenge

Day 19 of the 35 Day Challenge
Getting rid of the BUTs by resolving never to look back

Ladies, ever think about times when you've been hurt by an individual or experience? Ever think about how much you'd like to see justice, or would like to say one last word? Well......justice is not always in our hands and the one last word is often nothing more than a vain attempt at self-vindication. Whatever your faith statement is that you are believing God for.....instead of looking back at failed attempts on the past, hurt that has come from others, or even the unlikely-ness of the possibility or hope........resolve to move forward and close your mind and eyes to the doubt that is fueling that BUT. Look at the giant promise of having the Creator of the entire Universe as your loving Father who wants to give you the desires of your heart.

Today is a VERY busy day with the deadlines for a large Art Festival I am curating, but you are on my mind and I am praying for each one of you. I am resolving to move forward in faith and can't wait to see what God does in the next 16 days.

Lots of Love,
Andrea

Days 17 & 18 of the 35 Day Challenge

Days 17 & 18 of the 35 Day Challenge
Are we asking for what we are wanting? And taking steps towards it?

Good Evening!

I apologize yesterday and today are combined. My laptop was in for repair. But boy oh boy was God moving in this area of my life yesterday and today. Here is something very simple that I think escapes our minds at times ladies......ARE WE ASKING FOR WHAT WE ARE WANTING TO SEE IN OUR FAITH STATEMENTS? Or are we purely negating them with our BUTs and not asking for what we desire? The Bible talks a lot about asking. 'Knock and the door will be opened. Seek and you will find. Ask and you shall receive.' I was listening to the radio today and heard a really intriguing interview about refusing to have anything but a plan A. Are we using all our resources? Why is it that we wait and ask our Heavenly Father after our BUTs? Why don't we try to slip that in before? I also heard someone say yesterday that one of the best places to be in life is to KNOW what you are looking for and to learn how to ASK for it. Could it be that we are actually afraid of the things we want most? Or that we just believe they're too far beyond our reach? Lets take a second to realize the crazy-ness of this thought. If the creator of the entire universe can form us from the dust of the earth.....don't you think he can eliminate a few BUTs, a few fears???


Lots of Love. Talk to you in the am.

Andrea

Day 16 of the 35 Day Challenge

Day 16 of the 35 Day Challenge
90% is mental?

Hey girls!
Just got done with my girls' basketball team practice. Those 6th grade girls are working so hard. Today was a tough practice. We talked a lot about mentally staying in the game. About not getting defeated before you've even stepped out onto the court. About mind over matter. A lot of this is really faith. Believing in what is yet to come, or what you do not see and trusting in what you know is the truth. However, often I think we check out before we even check in. Here are some examples of some things I have heard women say...

I want to be confident, BUT I just don't feel good enough.
I want to start my own business, BUT I'm afraid it might not suceed.
I want to God's best for my life, BUT how can he use me?
I want to be loved, BUT I don't feel pretty enough.
I want to try, BUT it hasn't worked out before.

WHY ARE WE CHECKING OUT MENTALLY, BEFORE WE EVEN CHECK IN??????

There are a ton of things that are impossible in life. ABSOLUTELY! ESPECIALLY in our own strength. BUT, these fears and doubts are really stupid, if we aren't trusting that our God is greater than our BUT. Sometimes, I find it helps to take a deep breath and say whatever your statement is but then STUBSTITUTE your BUT with 'and God, I'm ready to get in the game'. See what He does. Of course you and I can't do it on our own or through our own strength. We were not meant to. BUT why check out before even checking in?

BYE BYE BUTs :)......19 days to go.

Lots of Love,
Andi
xoxoxox

Day 15 of The 35 Day Challenge

Day 15 of The 35 Day Challenge
Sharing what's on your heart...

Sometimes taking steps in faith is scary, because once we say something we are held responsible. Here's the thing though, if we notice [even before speaking] aren't we still responsible? There is often the 'BUT, what if it doesn't work; BUT, what if I fail?; BUT, what if people don't understand;' etc.etc. Don't be timid to step out in faith in any area of life, due to a BUT....what if thought.

Here is something that is currently on my heart that I'd like to share with you.

http://www.toloveoneanother.com/

Have a wonderful day....we've got 20 days to go in our BUT kicking challenge. ;) Lots of love girls.
Andrea

Day 14 of the 35 Day Challenge

Day 14 of the 35 Day Challenge
What do you do in the transitions?

Sometimes in the process of our faith being strengthened our hearts can grow weary and our minds can doubt.....this is usually the time when we allow the BUTs to come following through. Well, ladies....get yourself a project to help build your faith. Instead of us 'over-thinking' and worrying as we women have the capacity to do...turn that energy into something good. I want to share with you a few videos of what some women are doing with their faith. Be inspired.

Love ya!
Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 13 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 13 of 35

Its amazing the peace you can find when you ask God to help your disbelief.

One of the hardest parts of kicking the BUTs out of our faith statements is getting the BUTs out of our heads. You might be thinking even now that I'd love to believe that with reckless abandonment, with mustard seed faith, BUT how do I get the BUTs out of my head? The power of positive thinking alone just seems unrealistic.

You know what I've been finding amidst this 35 Day Challenge? Each moment when I can predict a BUT ready to come on in the middle of my faith statement.....I simply say, "God, help my unbelief." I know this sounds like the world's simplest advice, but you would be amazed how much peace I have been finding. How calm I feel about almost everything in my life. AND how much God has been opening my heart and stretching me to think about other areas differently and less self-focused. I'm working on a little project I'll share with you on Wednesday. SOOOOO excited! Rest well and know that He is MORE than enough and can help us through the unbelief.

Lots of Love,

Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 12 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 12 of 35

Your faith statements are not invisible, there is One who sees you fully and knows you...

To be completely honest, I'm having a hard time writing this evening. So, instead I want to share this video with you that I have watched so many times. Each time I watch it or share it with a girlfriend, I am so reminded of how He sees us fully....in all the details that sometimes feel unnoticed. Night.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 11 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 11 of 35

I read something that I thought was particularly interesting today....

'Opportunities of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity.'

Let's not let BUT..... stand in the way of the lifetime of our opportunities.

Night,

Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 10 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 10 of 35

The Weight of OUR Responsibility

The thing about eliminating these BUTs out of our statements of faith is that when we remove the doubt from our own mind.....no matter what the situation.....we have more room to empower and encourage those that are in our world. Who is watching you everyday? What kind of person do they see? What if we ladies rise up and OWN our responsibility to pour into and empower a younger generation to have even fewer BUTs.

I love my students so very much. I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to be a part of their lives. Everyday I see more of their beauty. More of their ability. More of their future. Today, I was reminded again....of one of the young girls that is watching my life. Listening to my statements. Who does she see? Here is a clip from her email...

There is such a weight in our actions. Our BUTs are evident in our lives....visually and audibly. After reading my students sweet and thoughtful email, I felt a reminder of that weight. If she sees me.....I want her to see HIM. How are my BUTs distorting that image? When we know more of HIM, we know more about who we are through HIM. Enjoy this song and may it encourage you tonight, where-ever you are.

Rest well and lets eliminate the BUTs in our faith.....to know HIM more......to be the women we want [her] to see.

Lots of Love,

Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 9 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 9 of 35

You never know what surprise you might find in your mailbox.

Many times we call the rain before it begins......

Today, I received the most thoughtful surprise. A couple of my students had contacted one of my favorite artists, secretly, and invited him out to come to a birthday party they were planning on hosting for me. Although, my birthday is not until next month.....they contacted him back in November! Today, I went to my mailbox and found a handwritten note from CLAES OLDENBURG, apologizing and explaining that sadly he would not be able to make it. If you know anything about art, you know how mind-blowing this is! He included a photograph of one of his sculptures along with his signature. I was so touched I couldn't hold the tears back. How did a 12 year old figure out how to contact one of the world's leading artists and what 12 year old plans a surprise birthday party for their teacher months in advance? And I could not believe that Claes Oldenburg not only received their invitation, but wrote a letter himself.

The point of this story is that.....you just never know what you might find in your mailbox. Don't allow BUTs in your faith statements to detract from the beauty that is yet to come.....you just never know when you might be totally surprised. The best is yet to come and He will not only give you the desires of your heart, but more than you can ever ask or think.

Lots of Love & Good Night....

It's been a LONG day.

Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 8 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 8 of 35

Are labels fueling our BUTs in regards to relationships with the opposite sex?

I'm currently reading a book called 'Love and Respect'. This book is actually written for married couples and I often give it as a gift to friends when I hear they are getting married. Although, I have heard the author and his wife speak, both live and on the radio. I have never read the book cover to cover. Occasionally, I'd pick it up in the book store and read a few pages here and there....but a couple weeks ago I bought it and decided to start reading! You see, I am a single woman....not in a relationship.....who has certainly had some interesting experiences to say the least. [I'm sure any woman reading this will laugh as at some point, even now perhaps....you can relate.] I see my current reading venture as research....preparation perhaps.....along with this blog, my fasting of coffee....which I so miss right now....and my determination to get rid of these BUTs in my statements of faith in regards to my love life. I figure, the more I work at improving areas in me, the more equipped I will be when the time comes.

Okay, so lets just get this out there in the open....MEN AND WOMEN ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY DIFFERENT! DUH! I'm sure you've gathered this already.....but one thing I find with my gender....OUR gender, is that typically we stereotype men into cliches based upon negative experiences we have had with them....or more commonly......due to misunderstandings we have with them. Believe me, there have been times where I have wanted to make some stereotypes myself. I swear sometimes I shake my head and think.....'Really, haven't I heard all the stupid things already?' Ie. 'I really like you, I just don't want to be in a relationship with you.' 'Your shoes are too American for me' 'You're like a porcelain doll on this high shelf, and I am not good enough for you' 'I find you so attractive, you just don't have any spark!' Please.....DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR ME.....JOIN ME IN THE LAUGHTER..... Cause you know what, laughing about it, is so much better than crying! Okay, naturally we might want to say things like....'Men are stupid' 'They just don't think' 'All guys only think about themselves' etc etc etc.... BUT LADIES.....STOP! NOT ALL GUYS ARE JERKS..... check out this video below.....then I'll continue on for a bit.

You see, no matter what experiences I have had nor what experiences you have had in relationships now or in the past.....NOT ALL MEN ARE STUPID! YES, THEY DO THINK......JUST NOT THE SAME WAY YOU AND I DO. I have felt this way for quite some time....but only now find myself in a season for practical implementation. Men do have feelings and they do get hurt and they do seek respect....like we women seek love. I was running last night with my uncle, whom I haven't seen in about 10 years. As we ran we chatted about life.....surface conversation mostly.....but men don't typically look for deep and meaning-fulls during the middle of a 3-4 mile run. My uncle briefly made a comment about a relationship he had once and for whatever reason it clicked! You see earlier in the day I have made a comment to someone that I was interested in that was little assuming. LADIES......we DO NOT THINK LIKE THEY THINK! SO.....we should assume nothing! Yes, women tend to be intuitive, but really sometimes.....things are better left for time to unfold. My comment earlier in the day was not rude or inappropriate....just not well placed or necessary. I shouldn't have even been thinking about it. As I ran with my uncle I thought about how much the 'good guys' do actually think. You see, most men.....don't want to make the wrong decision, just as much as us ladies do not want to make the wrong decision.....they just go about it and process it in a TOTALLY different way.....WAYS beyond stereotypes. I ended up apologizing for my comment I had made earlier in the day....because I realized it negated the very respect I am trying to show the male gender in my life.....this is good practice for my independent spirit....besides....I believe that we have a responsibility to build each other up.....and women and men get built up in different ways....so our communication HAS to change.

Now, how does all this relate to our BUTs in our statements of faith? You see when we generalize anything.......whether that be a gender or a situation......we tend to do it in our own defense, without respect or understanding. We feel that our feelings need validation, so we stick up for them ourselves with our words. Yet, it is doing nothing to further our faith. It actually adds to our BUTs! It weakens our faith. 

The moment we think we understand someone fully....we should realize we've never experienced their life through their own filter at all. Boxes in this realm are definitely not 'one size fits all'

Good Night my friend.....good bye BUTs!
Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 7 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 7 of 35
Perspective....

Today, I am in Buckeye, AZ. I had the opportunity to spend part of my evening running with my Uncle....I'm absolutely exhausted from a day of travel, running, and future work planning......the only thing I can think about now as I lay here watching TV is keep things in perspective.

Good Night.

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 6 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 6 of 35

How badly do you want it? 

Whew! What a Saturday! Definitely a little busier than most. I love how God is teaching me things through this 35 Day Commitment.....I think my eyes are even more open than normal. I could write on so many things.....but I think I'll just touch on two tonight.....one I saw in a 11 year old girl.....the other I was reminded of while on my drive home from an evening tea. 

Tonight, I called in an extra practice for my 6th grade girls' basketball team. Not manditory, but on a long weekend....and a Saturday night....I had 8 girls show up to practice from 5pm - 6.30pm. These 11 year olds are blowing me away!!! It is currently my goal in life to be the world's greatest coach for them :). Tonight, we were locked out of our gym....but that certainly wasn't about to mess up our practice! So, I told the girls, well....you know what's always open...THE TRACK! We ran the better part of a mile!!! Remember they are about 4 ft tall. My girls pushed through and didn't stop once nor did they complain. I can't believe I have the opportunity to coach them! After our run, we did some dribbling and passing drills. At one point, I had the girls dribble down an outdoor courtyard at our school. I told them that they were only allowed to dribble with their weak hand and that if they took their eyes off of me and looked down for one second they would be running a lap. One of my shining stars volunteered to go first. As much as my heart did not want to make her run, she looked down, so I had to follow through. The second girl dribbled down and about halfway through lost the ball but ran straight to me and into a hug. I could not stop laughing. I said to her [amidst the hug and laughter] 'You forgot the ball!' She replied, 'I just didn't want to run, so I decided no matter what I was not going to look down!' The whole team was almost on the ground with laughter. 

You know what separated this young lady. Her faith and determination. Even if she lost the ball. She KNEW what she did NOT want and no matter what, she was NOT going to have that!!!... Even if, she got to the end and was without her ball. This spoke volumes to me about her character. 

How does this tie into getting rid of our BUTs in our faith statements???

Well, what if we become so determined and so full of faith to reach our goal, knowing what we don't want and refuse to let anything take our eyes off of our coach? Even, if we loose the ball??? 

We'll still make it to the end. And you know what? She didn't have to run. She obeyed exactly what I asked of her. She did not question. Her determination was IMMOVABLE!

Tonight, after having tea with a friend, I drove home and had a few things on my mind. I had been fasting today and thought about what fasting actually does. I thought about how it strengthens our faith and if we are determined enough, it can actually add more substance to what we are praying for....you know the things that just need a little more??? Sometimes, I think it is that ENOUGH part....just enough that is hardest at times. Not in our strength, but in His. I thought about this as I was driving. In absence of my own control and waiting on Him and believing Him for what I desire and am praying for.....HE receives the total glory. The complete credit. Why? Because I have done nothing, but wait on Him! How much greater is that. We cannot do all things by ourselves, but through Him. 

Believe for what you want so passionately that you will loose the ball just so you can keep your eyes on Him. Doing it completely through Him, allowing not only more substance to be added to your faith, but also....giving HIM the opportunity to receive all the credit, without your personal accolades. 

Good night my dear friend. Road trip tomorrow, believing God for what I desire and praying for you too.

Lots of Love,
Andi

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 5 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 5 of 35

'Pillars carved to adore a palace' | 'Sculpted in a palace style' Ps. 144 v.12

Good Morning! I've been thinking about so many things since yesterday and last night I awoke about every two hours, praying about which ones to write about. This morning when I finally did get out of bed just after 5am, I felt I had nothing to write at all. So I prayed and literally was just in my office doing some printing and a rush of things fell on my heart. 

What if you knew you would not fail? Would you attempt all the things your heart does not believe? What if you took a moment to realize that you are a 'pillar carved to adorn a palace'. As David requests in Psalms. May our daughters BE.....there is not BUT in his sentence. He does NOT say may they be pillars, but NOT beautiful. He doesn't say may they be sculpted in palace style but never used. He simply says, 'PILLARS CARVED TO ADORN A PALACE'....AND IN ANOTHER TRANSLATION 'SCULPTED IN A PALACE STYLE'. I am an art teacher and recently started a new sculpture program at my school. The thing about sculpture is that it is done with INTENT!!! An artist never begins a sculpture with the idea of failure in mind. Carving is a process. It is not complete in one day and it is purposeful. Every motion is planned. 

As women, we are pillars....sculpted and carved with purpose and intent with the pure design to uphold structures, to adorn and make beautiful that which cannot stand on its own. Let's think about this for a minute. If we truly knew our purpose and truly understood the intent and creativity that is going on in our process of development, would we dare to say....'God I believe in this area of my life, BUT.....'

The answer my friend....is NO. We would not. Today, remember that you are being carved, sculpted to adorn a PALACE! You will be used for support and strength in ways you cannot yet see. The moment you begin to think, BUT.....STOP! Just stop your sentence and say.....AND, GOD YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. Then, as King George VI would say....'Keep Calm and Carry On'. We'll do it together.

Until tomorrow. 

Lots of Love,

Andi 

xoxox

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 4 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 4 of 35
Do our BUTs in the Middle of our faith effect only ourselves?


Last night as I went for my run, I had such energy and motivation and prayed while I ran about this area of my life where my head is strong, yet where my heart at times is weak. It was just me and God, running along the edge of the city, looking at nothing but the few street lights and the dark mountain in front of me as I ran. At the end of my run I stopped into my favorite yogurt shop, Poppies.....which is family owned and literally in the middle of nowhere. I literally eat yogurt almost everyday. Currently, I'm on a 5 times per week frozen yogurt kick. As I walked out of Poppies in my spandex running clothes, hoodie, beanie, worship music, and frozen yogurt; I stopped for a minute and stared up into the sky. I love living out on the edge of the city.....YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE STARS! I took a moment to just stop and star into the stars. I started to think about how simple life can be when we are not consumed with our own worries and whether or not God is ACTUALLY going to come through on his promises. Even if we know in our heads, how many fractions of our lives are taken up by moments of our doubting hearts or emotional disappointments? I am not trying to make light of our situations.....BUT I started to think as I stared at the STARS that really I have SO MUCH MORE TO BE THANKFUL FOR. If, I just focus on that, if I just stop and stare into the sky for a moment, everything else seems to fade away. I felt total peace as I walked back to my home.  

I want to share a video with you that I came across last night. While you are watching it I want to encourage you to think about how differently our faith would look if what we were most concerned about was the breath of another.

This is story of a daughter who's biggest doubt in life was, 'BUT what if I can't breathe?'

After watching this video last night and completing my run, I started to really feel convicted about the BUTs I am allowing in my faith. I never doubt whether or not my lungs will open and fill with air. They just do. My heavenly Father is in complete control of my ENTIRE destiny. 

So, do our BUTs only effect us??

NO. My friend. They effect every one in your world and even those you are meant to reach, BUT possibly might miss, because of your own doubt. 

I am a firm believer in the domino effect and that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we allow a BUT in our faith statement and actually let that BUT negate the promises God has given us, we are negating and effecting our future in that area......which does ripple onto others in our lives.....BUT what it also does [and this is the part that brought me to my knees and in tears last night] is it keeps our attention on ourselves.

Our BUTs in our faith DO NOT bring God glory.....they make us look at ourselves.....though there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.....there is something wrong with being CONSUMED in the very world that need not exist if it were not for your BUT. Your concerns and BUTs are not like this little girl. 'God, I want to live, BUT I cannot breathe.'

The more time we spend with our BUTs in our faith statements, the more time we are detracted from helping those whose BUTs in their faith statements are actually more life threatening. If we cannot kick these out of our lives....we will miss some of the incredible things God wants to do through us. 

Well, my friend.....lets have a look at our BUTs in a different light today. Recognizing that our God is greater than a 3 letter word. HE is a OUR PROMISE FULFILLED.

Lots of Love,
Andi

xoxo

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 3 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 3 of 35

What separates the beginning from the end?

There is this space between, that as a creative, I have always been facinated by. You might be thinking to yourself, 'What space between?'

Well, let's explore this a bit. There is space in time - between here and there. Then and now. There is a space between you and I, or you and others. And there is this space between a promise given and a promise fulfilled. The thing is about space is that it contains volume so it is fluid. Often you can see where it starts, but if it is still in motion, you often do not see yet where it ends. 

I think one of the most pivital decisions we must make is to not see the end of that space, while it is still moving. If you spill a glass of water and the water begins to run all over your counter top, down the side of your cabinets, and onto your floor....it hasn't stopped yet. You have yet to begin cleaning it up. It is currently unrestricted and is still moving.

So, how does this apply to getting rid our BUTs in our statements of faith. Well, you see.....faith is that space between. The SUBSTANCE of things hoped for and the EVIDENCE of what you DO NOT see. The only evidence you have in the fluid spaces is believing on HIS promises. If we allow a BUT to cut that space short....to stop the water before it hits the floor.....to limit where His promise is taking us......we are THROWING AWAY THE SUBSTANCE OF OUR EVIDENCE with our BUT!

There are countless stories in the Bible where women have reached out to God in faith.....during this space between...and have believed for the things they do not see. Mary, didn't know if Joseph was going to call it quits once he found out she was pregnant. The woman with the blood disease did not know what her future held....but she KNEW what she desired.....and she reached out for it! And it was Jesus, who said, 'Who touched me?' and then turned to her and said, 'Woman, your faith has made you whole.' The woman who washed Jesus feet with her hair, because that was all she had. 

These women, are like you and I.....don't think that because they lived in a different space and time that they were granted super faith powers to take on all the unknown. They had fears as we do. Their faith statements....and actions.....and reactions....could have forever changed history if they threw in a giant BUT into that space between......Mary, too fearful to even approach Joseph? 'God, I will do this, BUT He'll never understand.' Are you kidding me???? NO!!! Perhaps she was weary. I'm sure she was. BUT she went to him. She trusted though she did not know exactly how he would react and in that space between when she heard the promise and when she went to Joseph. However, as she went....GOD PREPARED JOSEPH!!!! The woman with the blood disorder.....'Who touched me?' Jesus was in a CROWD, of course people touched Him! Why was her touch different than all the others??? It was was her unveiling faith, her unwillingness to say, 'Lord, I want to be whole , BUT I can't get to Jesus through this crowd.' And what happened?? Jesus stopped......Is our faith stopping???? Is our faith in God's promises so moving that it STOPS??? Stops others to notice, stops the end of our BUTs??? Stops the very doubt that could limit that promise?? Would we take all that we had to just love? Even if all that we have is damaged, incomplete, not like others? Even if all we had was our time, and our hair, as the woman who washed Jesus' feet? 

She did NOT say, 'Father, I want to adore you, BUT I don't have a towel.'

So the thing that separates the beginning from the end is this space between. Women, lets not take this space and fill it with a BUT. 

You might be thinking to yourself, BUT this is easier said than done. I know....I completely agree, I was talking to God about this in prayer last night.....and no, He did not start speaking to me through my orchid on my dining room table or through my water-spot shaped hearts on my favorite coffee cup. In fact, I did not FEEL a grand plan unveiled at all. BUT, you see that's the thing. THAT IS FAITH. Moving a mountain is possible with a mustard seed amount of faith....how much more does God want to do in us? 

Yesterday, as I was working I thought to myself for a moment. BUT God, what if it is like every other time, every other situation.....is it not better to just do what I know I do well and forget the rest? The very next thought that came into my mind was....'Who enters and chooses to play a game, thinking they are going to loose?' NO ONE!!!! Well, perhaps.....unhealthy, crazy people! BUT, let us not be struck down by the unknown.

I'm coaching a girls basketball team at the moment and I make a point to tell my girls constantly that they can do anything they set their minds to. I also tell them that for every BUT, or CAN'T that they allow to come from their lips they will run a lap....I know harsh....they are only 11 years old. 

Well, my girls are on the ball! Yesterday, I was talking about points and shooting and how much shots are worth, etc....I then said, 'Ok, a 3-pointer is right here. I'd shoot one, BUT I'm not a three-point shooter.' OHHHHH! They caught me. 'Coach P, did we just hear you say CAN'T??' Laughing to myself, thinking children are so much smarter than we adults. 'Yes, I did girls.....and I will not only attempt it, but I will also run a lap.' Well, I missed the shot....but that's not the point. I attempted. You do not know what your space holds. Let's try not to allow the BUTs to limit that. Hey, why play to loose? We will loose nothing by believing for the best in our situation.

Have the most lovely day,

Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 2 of 35

Good Morning!

I love it when you wake up and God has already laid something on your heart. This morning as my 5am alarm went off, I had a few pressing things on my heart in regards to this getting rid of disbelief and eliminating the BUTs in our faith statements. You see, I began yesterday by using a practical example in my own life. However, the key is not what the BUTs are about....but recognizing that they are there and getting rid of them. For you maybe your faith statements read a little different than mine. Maybe yours are one of these...

'God, I believe that you can do all things, BUT can I really succeed at work and rise above my circumstance?'

'God, I know you plans are for me to prosper, BUT I just don't know if that will happen in my finances.'

'God, I know your promises are the same yesterday, today, and forever....BUT I just don't feel you.'

'God, I know you will give me the desires of my heart, BUT maybe I won't have the family I want and pray for.'

Are you starting to see how the giant BUTs in the middle of these statements negates the entire first part of your declaration??

OH STRETCH OUR FAITH! [THIS IS A SCARY PLEA, BUT NECESSARY]

The funny thing is that for me....I know better and my head believes with all that my brain can.....but my inner woman.....she's the one who will at times, feel discouraged. However, as I once repeated  almost daily to a beautiful student of mine who was against great opposition, 'Struck down BUT not destroyed!'

Today, when I awoke the word that was on my heart to write about was ALIGNMENT.

Often, female students, girlfriends, and peers have said to me I know what I want to believe or what I want to feel, but when things start to look a little different than I hoped, I look down at those scratches and loose sight of what I was trusting God for. I know it is still there...but it seems so foggy and far off. It's NOT that far off!!!! Like in the story of the prodigal son.....'while still aways from his home....his father saw him.' YOUR FATHER SEES YOU! How do we align our feelings in the foggy-ness? Well, ladies......draw near to Him. Seek Him and you will find Him. He sees you and you are not that far off. One day, you'll blink and these BUTs will barely be a memory. I have watched God do this in other areas of my life time and time again. Don't negate your faith today, by BUTing God's very promise He is yearning to fulfill in your life. 

Lots of Love,

Andi

xoxox

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 1 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 1 of 35

Challenging my disbelief on love. Getting rid of the BUTs…

There is only one area of my life that I find myself in a state of on and off again disbelief and as embarrassed as I am to admit it and as much as I would rather the entire e-world not know…I’m making myself vulnerable in hopes that perhaps some woman out there will be encouraged and I keep feeling the nudge to write about it, yet am usually too afraid to follow through. But yes….it is my love life.

Okay, here we go…

It hasn’t always been this way, but its funny how challenges have a way of scratching at your surface ultimately irritating you enough until you look down at them [sometimes momentarily, other times for many long moments], taking your eyes off of that thing you once saw in the distance so clearly. When you finally do look back it isn’t always as easy to see. Sometimes it can leave you feeling a little lost and in search of your map…yet the map is nowhere to be found or so you feel. Sometimes just a little fog rolls in and you can see it in the distance, but it’s blurry. Other times…..It’s like what you once saw disappeared and you are desperately searching for this memory of what once was so easy to hope for. 

This weekend I was playing basketball with a friend and while we played we discussed a bit of my current life situation and he replied with a sentence that did not sit well with me and of course he noticed it in my body language. He continued to tell me how annoying it was that I did not believe him. I thought about it for a moment and then realized that though I wanted to believe his statement his statement had this big BUT right in the middle of it and that BUT, at least in my mind, totally negated the first part of the sentence. I explained to him that though I wanted to believe him…that his BUT in his statement nullified the entire thought. He did not agree; however, that thought of how a BUT in the middle of your statement can negate the very point you are trying to make, weighed upon my mind for the rest of the evening.

That evening while chatting with a girlfriend on the phone, she said to me, ‘You know what, you really need to just get that disbelief out of your head.’ At first, my stubbornness thought….come on. My disbelief is totally justifiable and has been ‘proven’ numerous times….thinking…I really should write a book on that. Yet, her tough love resonated with me for the remainder of the evening along with this question of whether a BUT in the middle of your statement can be understood and accepted or if it  is simply a nice way of not saying the thing that is really true. However, I felt a sense of determination to work at this disbelief and continue to take risks in this area of my life…and not give up. So that evening I committed again to just be true and honest and to continue to believe for the best. And to keep on trying….

Sunday morning, I woke up poured my tea and noticed this heart shaped water spot on my favorite coffee cup [trying not to sound too much like an episode of grilled Cheesus on Glee, as my students would reference] and instantly felt a little reminder of God’s love for me. Now I don’t want you to get confused. I have not ever doubted God’s love for me, but I love when he gives me little reminders….as superstitious as my heart-shaped water spot sounds. After getting ready, I headed out to church, praying I would be able to just have sometime with God in worship [no distractions or men wanting to sit around me]…..I needed to talk with Him about this area of disbelief…just me and Him. I want to believe so badly. Yet, these scratches have left a few scars and sometimes I find it so hard to see through the fog. And I believe God will, BUT…..

Interestingly enough, Shane [our pastor] spoke on the sort of practical Atheist that exists in our society. When I first heard this series announced, I thought, well….I’m certainly not an atheist. I have believed in God for as long as I remember, so perhaps this series will just be good reference for me dealing with the Atheists I know…[Awh, the side of my personality that thinks I am so far along…..boy, do I have a lot to learn!] The message began and these sentences flashed on the screen….Sentences that began with powerful statements of faith; however, right in the middle of the sentence they had this BUT in the middle of them…..negating the point of their bold proclamation. I instantly realized the words that I had shared with my friend on the basketball court were words I should have been saying to myself. You see in this one area of my life I will say God I believe you are going to…..however when another struggle comes or another disappointing experience occurs and I am let down almost predictably I look down for a moment and say BUT. I thought to myself, ‘Is this promise I am believing God for being negated by my BUT? Am I only believing for half of my sentence?’

You know I have been privileged to accomplish many things in my years on this earth [and really they are quite few for what I've had the opportunity to experience]. I am so thankful. I have been blessed to see places and learn things that many only dream about. I am positive about every area of my life except for this one little area where I occasionally look down and say…BUT. I never look at any other situation as failure or see it in a pessimistic light, except for this one…..when I get let down [again…as my mind will think]….I seem to just resort back to this BUT. Usually, I look at challenges in life and say: COME ‘ERE! But when this one area gets rocky or disappoints me….I do the opposite and want to give up completely and loose track of the whole point of the promise. Thank goodness for my three closest girlfriends, who occasionally know how to lay on the tough love! I continue to pick myself up and try again….but mostly I am ashamed of how these BUTs in my faith statements detract from the glory that God wants to bring into this area of my life. So Sunday, I left church feeling ready to take on these BUTs! I had the most lovely 3 mile run in the afternoon, listening to worship music and smiling at how I was going to conquer this through Christ.

Sunday evening I had my entire family over for dinner and was reminded of how much LOVE I already have in my life. I felt ready to take on the week.

Monday…Tonight, I had dinner plans with a male friend….Last night I did not know if I would be dining with my friend or alone, but this morning I thought to myself that even if I am dining alone….I am going to Sammy’s and having the best time with God. I spend most of my evenings with God anyways…so it certainly would not be the end of the world if my friend does not show. I had a skip in my step this morning feeling total peace of all the unknowns and determined to kick these BUT statements out of my hopes and future. To my surprise….my friend confirmed!…I was so ecstatic! In my head I was only predicting about a 5% probability of follow-through….[Yes, I really am this business minded in my personal life, at times.] Woohoo! The margin of probability came true! [A downside of being a heart felt person is I get too easily exited too quickly…Ever heard the phrase don’t count your eggs before they hatch? Yep, I forget that too easily in my optimism.] I felt like this was really going to be a good day….and look at how my BUT kicking vow was already turning out. I shared this whole story with one of my closest girlfriends, feeling I could use it as an encouragement now…..though we are only talking about 2.5 days of my life….I felt like the testimony of change was already beginning!

Well, let me forewarn you! The moment you start verbalizing your grand faithful accomplishments in the spiritual realm….you are gonna be challenged! And sure enough my dinner plans were cancelled….so my marginal probability was not happening tonight. I was so disappointed and felt silly for even getting excited…..the story is much longer, but my reader friend, I can only be so vulnerable. I was understanding of my friend’s situation and did my best to react as Christ would want me and to be that woman I truly want to be, but that didn’t change how I personally felt. My heart sank back to this place of ‘here we go again’ and then the BUTs came pouring through my promise. Although, this time I recognized it straight away and tried everything in my power to combat it in my heart. I had my students write their favorite positive motivating quotes on the board. I thought, ‘Hey, this is a perfect opportunity to let everyone be encouraged!’ Although….I still felt so much disbelief in this area of my life….my head was being strong….but as we women can sometimes allow…my heart was weak and doubting. I decided I was going to go have my pizza at Sammy’s as I had planned. I was going to spend it with the Lover of my soul and everything would be just fine. So, why did I feel so deflated? Yes, past hurt and lies that I have been told played a huge part in my BUTs; however, I know God’s promises are true….why couldn’t I change my feelings? I wanted to so badly. So I thought….I’ll run it out. I ran for 5 miles….AND, I thought about it the WHOLE TIME! Women….can we just take a break from our gender and not think so much??? I prayed on my way to dinner, but then was more upset that I wasn’t as ecstact to spend the evening with God as I was earlier when it was a date with a man. REALLY??? The Creator of the universe is so much more exciting!!

Well, that brings me to the end of today. I’m here at Sammy’s had the most wonderful pizza, listened to worship music while I ate, and am sharing my story with you. Today, while I ran I decided the best way for me to get through these BUTs is to work at it consistently….not to have this ubber-positive unrealistic approach, but to just work at it. In 35 days I will be another year older. 35 is also my favorite number. Also, the speed limit I most consistently break. Between then and now I am vowing to work at this area of disbelief. How can God bless this area, when I’m being a Debbie Downer at every sign of disappointment? I know its silly in my head and I am a lot smarter than to let this control me, but I want the feeling to change and the BUTs eliminated! So, everyday…I’ll keep you posted on the BUT eliminations. I hope that you will possibly find an area of disbelief in your own life and for the next 35 days join me in kicking those BUTs out of your faith statements….even if your friends think you are the most spiritual person they know…..we have a LONG way to go!!! But….. :) as someone wrote to me today: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6. 

His love for us is far greater than anything we desire on this earth and can make those scratches so smooth that when we look down we see what’s in front of us so clearly that we have a hard time seeing the scratches at all.