The 35 Day Challenge: Day 8 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 8 of 35

Are labels fueling our BUTs in regards to relationships with the opposite sex?

I'm currently reading a book called 'Love and Respect'. This book is actually written for married couples and I often give it as a gift to friends when I hear they are getting married. Although, I have heard the author and his wife speak, both live and on the radio. I have never read the book cover to cover. Occasionally, I'd pick it up in the book store and read a few pages here and there....but a couple weeks ago I bought it and decided to start reading! You see, I am a single woman....not in a relationship.....who has certainly had some interesting experiences to say the least. [I'm sure any woman reading this will laugh as at some point, even now perhaps....you can relate.] I see my current reading venture as research....preparation perhaps.....along with this blog, my fasting of coffee....which I so miss right now....and my determination to get rid of these BUTs in my statements of faith in regards to my love life. I figure, the more I work at improving areas in me, the more equipped I will be when the time comes.

Okay, so lets just get this out there in the open....MEN AND WOMEN ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY DIFFERENT! DUH! I'm sure you've gathered this already.....but one thing I find with my gender....OUR gender, is that typically we stereotype men into cliches based upon negative experiences we have had with them....or more commonly......due to misunderstandings we have with them. Believe me, there have been times where I have wanted to make some stereotypes myself. I swear sometimes I shake my head and think.....'Really, haven't I heard all the stupid things already?' Ie. 'I really like you, I just don't want to be in a relationship with you.' 'Your shoes are too American for me' 'You're like a porcelain doll on this high shelf, and I am not good enough for you' 'I find you so attractive, you just don't have any spark!' Please.....DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR ME.....JOIN ME IN THE LAUGHTER..... Cause you know what, laughing about it, is so much better than crying! Okay, naturally we might want to say things like....'Men are stupid' 'They just don't think' 'All guys only think about themselves' etc etc etc.... BUT LADIES.....STOP! NOT ALL GUYS ARE JERKS..... check out this video below.....then I'll continue on for a bit.

You see, no matter what experiences I have had nor what experiences you have had in relationships now or in the past.....NOT ALL MEN ARE STUPID! YES, THEY DO THINK......JUST NOT THE SAME WAY YOU AND I DO. I have felt this way for quite some time....but only now find myself in a season for practical implementation. Men do have feelings and they do get hurt and they do seek respect....like we women seek love. I was running last night with my uncle, whom I haven't seen in about 10 years. As we ran we chatted about life.....surface conversation mostly.....but men don't typically look for deep and meaning-fulls during the middle of a 3-4 mile run. My uncle briefly made a comment about a relationship he had once and for whatever reason it clicked! You see earlier in the day I have made a comment to someone that I was interested in that was little assuming. LADIES......we DO NOT THINK LIKE THEY THINK! SO.....we should assume nothing! Yes, women tend to be intuitive, but really sometimes.....things are better left for time to unfold. My comment earlier in the day was not rude or inappropriate....just not well placed or necessary. I shouldn't have even been thinking about it. As I ran with my uncle I thought about how much the 'good guys' do actually think. You see, most men.....don't want to make the wrong decision, just as much as us ladies do not want to make the wrong decision.....they just go about it and process it in a TOTALLY different way.....WAYS beyond stereotypes. I ended up apologizing for my comment I had made earlier in the day....because I realized it negated the very respect I am trying to show the male gender in my life.....this is good practice for my independent spirit....besides....I believe that we have a responsibility to build each other up.....and women and men get built up in different ways....so our communication HAS to change.

Now, how does all this relate to our BUTs in our statements of faith? You see when we generalize anything.......whether that be a gender or a situation......we tend to do it in our own defense, without respect or understanding. We feel that our feelings need validation, so we stick up for them ourselves with our words. Yet, it is doing nothing to further our faith. It actually adds to our BUTs! It weakens our faith. 

The moment we think we understand someone fully....we should realize we've never experienced their life through their own filter at all. Boxes in this realm are definitely not 'one size fits all'

Good Night my friend.....good bye BUTs!
Andi