The 35 Day Challenge: Day 4 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 4 of 35
Do our BUTs in the Middle of our faith effect only ourselves?


Last night as I went for my run, I had such energy and motivation and prayed while I ran about this area of my life where my head is strong, yet where my heart at times is weak. It was just me and God, running along the edge of the city, looking at nothing but the few street lights and the dark mountain in front of me as I ran. At the end of my run I stopped into my favorite yogurt shop, Poppies.....which is family owned and literally in the middle of nowhere. I literally eat yogurt almost everyday. Currently, I'm on a 5 times per week frozen yogurt kick. As I walked out of Poppies in my spandex running clothes, hoodie, beanie, worship music, and frozen yogurt; I stopped for a minute and stared up into the sky. I love living out on the edge of the city.....YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE STARS! I took a moment to just stop and star into the stars. I started to think about how simple life can be when we are not consumed with our own worries and whether or not God is ACTUALLY going to come through on his promises. Even if we know in our heads, how many fractions of our lives are taken up by moments of our doubting hearts or emotional disappointments? I am not trying to make light of our situations.....BUT I started to think as I stared at the STARS that really I have SO MUCH MORE TO BE THANKFUL FOR. If, I just focus on that, if I just stop and stare into the sky for a moment, everything else seems to fade away. I felt total peace as I walked back to my home.  

I want to share a video with you that I came across last night. While you are watching it I want to encourage you to think about how differently our faith would look if what we were most concerned about was the breath of another.

This is story of a daughter who's biggest doubt in life was, 'BUT what if I can't breathe?'

After watching this video last night and completing my run, I started to really feel convicted about the BUTs I am allowing in my faith. I never doubt whether or not my lungs will open and fill with air. They just do. My heavenly Father is in complete control of my ENTIRE destiny. 

So, do our BUTs only effect us??

NO. My friend. They effect every one in your world and even those you are meant to reach, BUT possibly might miss, because of your own doubt. 

I am a firm believer in the domino effect and that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we allow a BUT in our faith statement and actually let that BUT negate the promises God has given us, we are negating and effecting our future in that area......which does ripple onto others in our lives.....BUT what it also does [and this is the part that brought me to my knees and in tears last night] is it keeps our attention on ourselves.

Our BUTs in our faith DO NOT bring God glory.....they make us look at ourselves.....though there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.....there is something wrong with being CONSUMED in the very world that need not exist if it were not for your BUT. Your concerns and BUTs are not like this little girl. 'God, I want to live, BUT I cannot breathe.'

The more time we spend with our BUTs in our faith statements, the more time we are detracted from helping those whose BUTs in their faith statements are actually more life threatening. If we cannot kick these out of our lives....we will miss some of the incredible things God wants to do through us. 

Well, my friend.....lets have a look at our BUTs in a different light today. Recognizing that our God is greater than a 3 letter word. HE is a OUR PROMISE FULFILLED.

Lots of Love,
Andi

xoxo

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 3 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 3 of 35

What separates the beginning from the end?

There is this space between, that as a creative, I have always been facinated by. You might be thinking to yourself, 'What space between?'

Well, let's explore this a bit. There is space in time - between here and there. Then and now. There is a space between you and I, or you and others. And there is this space between a promise given and a promise fulfilled. The thing is about space is that it contains volume so it is fluid. Often you can see where it starts, but if it is still in motion, you often do not see yet where it ends. 

I think one of the most pivital decisions we must make is to not see the end of that space, while it is still moving. If you spill a glass of water and the water begins to run all over your counter top, down the side of your cabinets, and onto your floor....it hasn't stopped yet. You have yet to begin cleaning it up. It is currently unrestricted and is still moving.

So, how does this apply to getting rid our BUTs in our statements of faith. Well, you see.....faith is that space between. The SUBSTANCE of things hoped for and the EVIDENCE of what you DO NOT see. The only evidence you have in the fluid spaces is believing on HIS promises. If we allow a BUT to cut that space short....to stop the water before it hits the floor.....to limit where His promise is taking us......we are THROWING AWAY THE SUBSTANCE OF OUR EVIDENCE with our BUT!

There are countless stories in the Bible where women have reached out to God in faith.....during this space between...and have believed for the things they do not see. Mary, didn't know if Joseph was going to call it quits once he found out she was pregnant. The woman with the blood disease did not know what her future held....but she KNEW what she desired.....and she reached out for it! And it was Jesus, who said, 'Who touched me?' and then turned to her and said, 'Woman, your faith has made you whole.' The woman who washed Jesus feet with her hair, because that was all she had. 

These women, are like you and I.....don't think that because they lived in a different space and time that they were granted super faith powers to take on all the unknown. They had fears as we do. Their faith statements....and actions.....and reactions....could have forever changed history if they threw in a giant BUT into that space between......Mary, too fearful to even approach Joseph? 'God, I will do this, BUT He'll never understand.' Are you kidding me???? NO!!! Perhaps she was weary. I'm sure she was. BUT she went to him. She trusted though she did not know exactly how he would react and in that space between when she heard the promise and when she went to Joseph. However, as she went....GOD PREPARED JOSEPH!!!! The woman with the blood disorder.....'Who touched me?' Jesus was in a CROWD, of course people touched Him! Why was her touch different than all the others??? It was was her unveiling faith, her unwillingness to say, 'Lord, I want to be whole , BUT I can't get to Jesus through this crowd.' And what happened?? Jesus stopped......Is our faith stopping???? Is our faith in God's promises so moving that it STOPS??? Stops others to notice, stops the end of our BUTs??? Stops the very doubt that could limit that promise?? Would we take all that we had to just love? Even if all that we have is damaged, incomplete, not like others? Even if all we had was our time, and our hair, as the woman who washed Jesus' feet? 

She did NOT say, 'Father, I want to adore you, BUT I don't have a towel.'

So the thing that separates the beginning from the end is this space between. Women, lets not take this space and fill it with a BUT. 

You might be thinking to yourself, BUT this is easier said than done. I know....I completely agree, I was talking to God about this in prayer last night.....and no, He did not start speaking to me through my orchid on my dining room table or through my water-spot shaped hearts on my favorite coffee cup. In fact, I did not FEEL a grand plan unveiled at all. BUT, you see that's the thing. THAT IS FAITH. Moving a mountain is possible with a mustard seed amount of faith....how much more does God want to do in us? 

Yesterday, as I was working I thought to myself for a moment. BUT God, what if it is like every other time, every other situation.....is it not better to just do what I know I do well and forget the rest? The very next thought that came into my mind was....'Who enters and chooses to play a game, thinking they are going to loose?' NO ONE!!!! Well, perhaps.....unhealthy, crazy people! BUT, let us not be struck down by the unknown.

I'm coaching a girls basketball team at the moment and I make a point to tell my girls constantly that they can do anything they set their minds to. I also tell them that for every BUT, or CAN'T that they allow to come from their lips they will run a lap....I know harsh....they are only 11 years old. 

Well, my girls are on the ball! Yesterday, I was talking about points and shooting and how much shots are worth, etc....I then said, 'Ok, a 3-pointer is right here. I'd shoot one, BUT I'm not a three-point shooter.' OHHHHH! They caught me. 'Coach P, did we just hear you say CAN'T??' Laughing to myself, thinking children are so much smarter than we adults. 'Yes, I did girls.....and I will not only attempt it, but I will also run a lap.' Well, I missed the shot....but that's not the point. I attempted. You do not know what your space holds. Let's try not to allow the BUTs to limit that. Hey, why play to loose? We will loose nothing by believing for the best in our situation.

Have the most lovely day,

Andrea

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 2 of 35

Good Morning!

I love it when you wake up and God has already laid something on your heart. This morning as my 5am alarm went off, I had a few pressing things on my heart in regards to this getting rid of disbelief and eliminating the BUTs in our faith statements. You see, I began yesterday by using a practical example in my own life. However, the key is not what the BUTs are about....but recognizing that they are there and getting rid of them. For you maybe your faith statements read a little different than mine. Maybe yours are one of these...

'God, I believe that you can do all things, BUT can I really succeed at work and rise above my circumstance?'

'God, I know you plans are for me to prosper, BUT I just don't know if that will happen in my finances.'

'God, I know your promises are the same yesterday, today, and forever....BUT I just don't feel you.'

'God, I know you will give me the desires of my heart, BUT maybe I won't have the family I want and pray for.'

Are you starting to see how the giant BUTs in the middle of these statements negates the entire first part of your declaration??

OH STRETCH OUR FAITH! [THIS IS A SCARY PLEA, BUT NECESSARY]

The funny thing is that for me....I know better and my head believes with all that my brain can.....but my inner woman.....she's the one who will at times, feel discouraged. However, as I once repeated  almost daily to a beautiful student of mine who was against great opposition, 'Struck down BUT not destroyed!'

Today, when I awoke the word that was on my heart to write about was ALIGNMENT.

Often, female students, girlfriends, and peers have said to me I know what I want to believe or what I want to feel, but when things start to look a little different than I hoped, I look down at those scratches and loose sight of what I was trusting God for. I know it is still there...but it seems so foggy and far off. It's NOT that far off!!!! Like in the story of the prodigal son.....'while still aways from his home....his father saw him.' YOUR FATHER SEES YOU! How do we align our feelings in the foggy-ness? Well, ladies......draw near to Him. Seek Him and you will find Him. He sees you and you are not that far off. One day, you'll blink and these BUTs will barely be a memory. I have watched God do this in other areas of my life time and time again. Don't negate your faith today, by BUTing God's very promise He is yearning to fulfill in your life. 

Lots of Love,

Andi

xoxox

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 1 of 35

The 35 Day Challenge: Day 1 of 35

Challenging my disbelief on love. Getting rid of the BUTs…

There is only one area of my life that I find myself in a state of on and off again disbelief and as embarrassed as I am to admit it and as much as I would rather the entire e-world not know…I’m making myself vulnerable in hopes that perhaps some woman out there will be encouraged and I keep feeling the nudge to write about it, yet am usually too afraid to follow through. But yes….it is my love life.

Okay, here we go…

It hasn’t always been this way, but its funny how challenges have a way of scratching at your surface ultimately irritating you enough until you look down at them [sometimes momentarily, other times for many long moments], taking your eyes off of that thing you once saw in the distance so clearly. When you finally do look back it isn’t always as easy to see. Sometimes it can leave you feeling a little lost and in search of your map…yet the map is nowhere to be found or so you feel. Sometimes just a little fog rolls in and you can see it in the distance, but it’s blurry. Other times…..It’s like what you once saw disappeared and you are desperately searching for this memory of what once was so easy to hope for. 

This weekend I was playing basketball with a friend and while we played we discussed a bit of my current life situation and he replied with a sentence that did not sit well with me and of course he noticed it in my body language. He continued to tell me how annoying it was that I did not believe him. I thought about it for a moment and then realized that though I wanted to believe his statement his statement had this big BUT right in the middle of it and that BUT, at least in my mind, totally negated the first part of the sentence. I explained to him that though I wanted to believe him…that his BUT in his statement nullified the entire thought. He did not agree; however, that thought of how a BUT in the middle of your statement can negate the very point you are trying to make, weighed upon my mind for the rest of the evening.

That evening while chatting with a girlfriend on the phone, she said to me, ‘You know what, you really need to just get that disbelief out of your head.’ At first, my stubbornness thought….come on. My disbelief is totally justifiable and has been ‘proven’ numerous times….thinking…I really should write a book on that. Yet, her tough love resonated with me for the remainder of the evening along with this question of whether a BUT in the middle of your statement can be understood and accepted or if it  is simply a nice way of not saying the thing that is really true. However, I felt a sense of determination to work at this disbelief and continue to take risks in this area of my life…and not give up. So that evening I committed again to just be true and honest and to continue to believe for the best. And to keep on trying….

Sunday morning, I woke up poured my tea and noticed this heart shaped water spot on my favorite coffee cup [trying not to sound too much like an episode of grilled Cheesus on Glee, as my students would reference] and instantly felt a little reminder of God’s love for me. Now I don’t want you to get confused. I have not ever doubted God’s love for me, but I love when he gives me little reminders….as superstitious as my heart-shaped water spot sounds. After getting ready, I headed out to church, praying I would be able to just have sometime with God in worship [no distractions or men wanting to sit around me]…..I needed to talk with Him about this area of disbelief…just me and Him. I want to believe so badly. Yet, these scratches have left a few scars and sometimes I find it so hard to see through the fog. And I believe God will, BUT…..

Interestingly enough, Shane [our pastor] spoke on the sort of practical Atheist that exists in our society. When I first heard this series announced, I thought, well….I’m certainly not an atheist. I have believed in God for as long as I remember, so perhaps this series will just be good reference for me dealing with the Atheists I know…[Awh, the side of my personality that thinks I am so far along…..boy, do I have a lot to learn!] The message began and these sentences flashed on the screen….Sentences that began with powerful statements of faith; however, right in the middle of the sentence they had this BUT in the middle of them…..negating the point of their bold proclamation. I instantly realized the words that I had shared with my friend on the basketball court were words I should have been saying to myself. You see in this one area of my life I will say God I believe you are going to…..however when another struggle comes or another disappointing experience occurs and I am let down almost predictably I look down for a moment and say BUT. I thought to myself, ‘Is this promise I am believing God for being negated by my BUT? Am I only believing for half of my sentence?’

You know I have been privileged to accomplish many things in my years on this earth [and really they are quite few for what I've had the opportunity to experience]. I am so thankful. I have been blessed to see places and learn things that many only dream about. I am positive about every area of my life except for this one little area where I occasionally look down and say…BUT. I never look at any other situation as failure or see it in a pessimistic light, except for this one…..when I get let down [again…as my mind will think]….I seem to just resort back to this BUT. Usually, I look at challenges in life and say: COME ‘ERE! But when this one area gets rocky or disappoints me….I do the opposite and want to give up completely and loose track of the whole point of the promise. Thank goodness for my three closest girlfriends, who occasionally know how to lay on the tough love! I continue to pick myself up and try again….but mostly I am ashamed of how these BUTs in my faith statements detract from the glory that God wants to bring into this area of my life. So Sunday, I left church feeling ready to take on these BUTs! I had the most lovely 3 mile run in the afternoon, listening to worship music and smiling at how I was going to conquer this through Christ.

Sunday evening I had my entire family over for dinner and was reminded of how much LOVE I already have in my life. I felt ready to take on the week.

Monday…Tonight, I had dinner plans with a male friend….Last night I did not know if I would be dining with my friend or alone, but this morning I thought to myself that even if I am dining alone….I am going to Sammy’s and having the best time with God. I spend most of my evenings with God anyways…so it certainly would not be the end of the world if my friend does not show. I had a skip in my step this morning feeling total peace of all the unknowns and determined to kick these BUT statements out of my hopes and future. To my surprise….my friend confirmed!…I was so ecstatic! In my head I was only predicting about a 5% probability of follow-through….[Yes, I really am this business minded in my personal life, at times.] Woohoo! The margin of probability came true! [A downside of being a heart felt person is I get too easily exited too quickly…Ever heard the phrase don’t count your eggs before they hatch? Yep, I forget that too easily in my optimism.] I felt like this was really going to be a good day….and look at how my BUT kicking vow was already turning out. I shared this whole story with one of my closest girlfriends, feeling I could use it as an encouragement now…..though we are only talking about 2.5 days of my life….I felt like the testimony of change was already beginning!

Well, let me forewarn you! The moment you start verbalizing your grand faithful accomplishments in the spiritual realm….you are gonna be challenged! And sure enough my dinner plans were cancelled….so my marginal probability was not happening tonight. I was so disappointed and felt silly for even getting excited…..the story is much longer, but my reader friend, I can only be so vulnerable. I was understanding of my friend’s situation and did my best to react as Christ would want me and to be that woman I truly want to be, but that didn’t change how I personally felt. My heart sank back to this place of ‘here we go again’ and then the BUTs came pouring through my promise. Although, this time I recognized it straight away and tried everything in my power to combat it in my heart. I had my students write their favorite positive motivating quotes on the board. I thought, ‘Hey, this is a perfect opportunity to let everyone be encouraged!’ Although….I still felt so much disbelief in this area of my life….my head was being strong….but as we women can sometimes allow…my heart was weak and doubting. I decided I was going to go have my pizza at Sammy’s as I had planned. I was going to spend it with the Lover of my soul and everything would be just fine. So, why did I feel so deflated? Yes, past hurt and lies that I have been told played a huge part in my BUTs; however, I know God’s promises are true….why couldn’t I change my feelings? I wanted to so badly. So I thought….I’ll run it out. I ran for 5 miles….AND, I thought about it the WHOLE TIME! Women….can we just take a break from our gender and not think so much??? I prayed on my way to dinner, but then was more upset that I wasn’t as ecstact to spend the evening with God as I was earlier when it was a date with a man. REALLY??? The Creator of the universe is so much more exciting!!

Well, that brings me to the end of today. I’m here at Sammy’s had the most wonderful pizza, listened to worship music while I ate, and am sharing my story with you. Today, while I ran I decided the best way for me to get through these BUTs is to work at it consistently….not to have this ubber-positive unrealistic approach, but to just work at it. In 35 days I will be another year older. 35 is also my favorite number. Also, the speed limit I most consistently break. Between then and now I am vowing to work at this area of disbelief. How can God bless this area, when I’m being a Debbie Downer at every sign of disappointment? I know its silly in my head and I am a lot smarter than to let this control me, but I want the feeling to change and the BUTs eliminated! So, everyday…I’ll keep you posted on the BUT eliminations. I hope that you will possibly find an area of disbelief in your own life and for the next 35 days join me in kicking those BUTs out of your faith statements….even if your friends think you are the most spiritual person they know…..we have a LONG way to go!!! But….. :) as someone wrote to me today: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6. 

His love for us is far greater than anything we desire on this earth and can make those scratches so smooth that when we look down we see what’s in front of us so clearly that we have a hard time seeing the scratches at all.

to be significant...

Today, I spoke with a 13 year old girl who doubted whether or not she had worth, because no one wanted to hang out with her at lunch. I passed another in the hall, who giggled and grabbed the young man's shoulder next to her to try to get him to notice her just once. Another who sat quietly, wondering if she is seen....ever noticed.....

Significance. It is this thing that sometimes we question within ourselves. The wife and mother who decides to bake cookies from scratch to show a little extra love and attention to detail....the single girl who smiles at what she does not see, while is secretly afraid of the unknown. The young girl, who seeks attention.

At times these actions can lead a girl to secretly question her significance. Will they notice? Does it really matter? Am I special? Most women, do not think of this on a regular basis....although some do. I would risk to say that most women [of any age] have come to a place when they doubted or questioned their own significance at some point.

Yesterday, I spoke with a colleague who was concerned about a young girl who had confessed that she had thoughts of suicide. Today, I saw the scratches on her arms. I wish with all my heart I could look deep into the eyes of every young girl who felt she was not pretty enough, who thought she wasn't funny enough, who 'knows' she's not smart enough.....and convince her that she is significant. She is valued. She is priceless. She is you.

Have you ever believed something more strongly for someone else than you have for yourself? If you could only shift that passion from your heart to theirs by a simple gesture of an outstretched hand or a warm embrace. Often, people are not so easily convinced.

She must see her significance for herself. How can you help her when she does not believe? Perhaps by complimenting. Perhaps by listening. Maybe its remembering all the things she thinks you'll forget. It's quite similar to when a friend decides to surprise you and take you somewhere for the first time. You might have assumptions, predictions, but you have yet to experience it.....so therefore, you cannot totally believe it for yourself. And then suddenly, you arrive. You can't believe what you see, but yet....there it is. So much more than you thought. So beautiful. It is real. And you can see it. You can't stop smiling. It is AMAZING!

Underneath her scratched arms is a heart more valuable than gold. Behind her fears are magnificent ideals. Just next to her doubt is her beauty. It is real. You can see it. And try to not stop smiling. You are AMAZING!

being still

I've been torn between writing about two different subjects this evening. One subject speaking of the unwanted; and the other talking about how we can throw away things of value and substance due to our own impatience. I think, tonight...I'll touch on the latter.

I believe that we do have a creator, God, the one who ultimately knows everything that is going on. Yet, I also believe we have free will. We get to make our own choices. My whole life I have always desired to make the best choices. The right ones. The ones that would set me apart as a woman of value; and naturally I have also always had this ability to to do things really well and make them look so beautiful. The presentation has always been effort-less for me. However, there are some areas that no matter how true to myself I am nor how beautiful I wish it looked...I just can't get it sorted [as the British would say].


I don't think Andromeda was a very patient character. And sadly, neither am I. There are times in life when one should just STOP! An aquaintance of mine said to me a few months back that the best thing to do when you don't know what to do is to do nothing. DO NOTHING????? I thought about her comment for weeks. This concept was so foreign to me. I did not even know how to process those words, let alone, take the advice. But perhaps, there are times when you should just distance yourself and do nothing. [Even while writing this, I have a hard time grasping this concept.] I have always believed that the best thing you can do is to be honest, real, compassionate, and be the person you would like to see, without expectation.

Recently, I encountered a situation in my own life where I had the choice to be me and try to just be genuine, or I could have chosen to be still and do nothing. I doubt that anyone will ever describe me as still. PROBABLY NEVER! But, I sure could use it sometimes. I'm the sort of person who looks at a beautiful cake and wants to take my finger and wipe across the bottom of the cake taking about a tablespoon full of frosting as I go, only to swallow it hoping that no one notices....and then trying to doctor up the frosting as if I had never been there. THIS IS A HORRIBLE TRAIT TO BRING INTO SOME AREAS OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORRIBLE! CAN I JUST SAY HORRIBLE ONE MORE TIME!!! horrible. Sometimes when we mess things up they can't be fixed. Sometimes we don't get the opportunity to be in the exact situation again. We will get other opportunities and life will progress on, but what if we miss out on the very best because we just couldn't be still. In my recent situation I feel as though, I totally messed up what might have been the most beautifully tasting cake. And I have no idea if I'll ever find myself in that same position, nor if I'll find a better cake...sticking with this analogy. Many Christians would argue, but God is in control. I agree. But sometimes, we just mess things up and though He wants to use it for good....It may not have been THE BEST.

Sometimes being still is the best idea. I wish, I had listened. And I'm sorry for that one. Being true to oneself is important, but sometimes I think we should portion ourselves to not explode with our entirety so freely. Many people throughout history have had great destinies, but then acted too quickly or too loudly, or too passionately and messed it up entirely. Having a little discernment on timing would do the fast runners in our society some good, myself included. Moses messed things up and missed out on the Promised Land. Esau was impatient and he gave up wealth and inheritance for SOUP! Sampson spoke too soon and lost all his strength and DIED! In my situation, I am most disappointed in myself, for not just taking some time to just NOT do anything. Doing nothing, might have been the BEST option. Sadly, we only have ourselves to blame for picking at the cake.

Andromeda's Alone Time...

Andromeda's character spent most of her time helping others....her status title: SINGLE. What is it about that title that most women find so appalling?! I too find myself guilty of this at times. I know girls who love the title and use it as a freedom card to act foolish and play with boys as some men do with women....almost as if it is their payback for being placed in this subservient role, a role of objectification for hundreds of years. I think women that do this feel powerful. In control.....however, most women I know that function in this capacity breakdown eventually and end up loathing the title as much as the rest. I think the crime of forming women into an object of desire is as disgusting as women doing the same to men. Many would disagreed and say this is just what we do. It is hormonal. Carnal. Natural. What I would like to know is when did our respect for the opposite sex stoop so low? I'm sure it was long long ago....but must it always remain.?

Okay, back to this idea of SINGLE. Andromeda was this woman with superhuman strength. She rescued her people. She was this WOMAN we all kind of wish we were strong enough to be.

What we don't consider when we look at her is the lonely part of her journey. She invested her life into a greater cause...loving others. Yet, she was a woman. Meaning that at times, she probably looked around and saw no one else like her. She felt alone. I can relate, as many of you can. But what I'd like to share with you tonight is something that I hopes inspires you...encourages you to be strong in your giftings....strong in your purpose....strong where-ever you are at during this time in your life.

I am a 24 year old woman. Single. College graduate with 2 degrees. A teacher now in my 3rd year of experience, not to mention the years of private lessons. I am an over-achiever in most areas of my life. Which has caused me great victory and great pain. Most of my life, I have spent trying to be ahead....trying to be smarter....trying to be my very best. I have spent most of my life looking at risk and running towards it knowing that I'll have what I need at just the right time and will learn to fly as I'm falling or soaring, whichever the case may be. I have traveled to and from Australia twice, I have traveled all over Western Europe, lived in a foreign country on my own for three years. I have been a part of large organizations that are famous. And I have been a part of organizations which few even remember. NONE of this makes me more special than anyone else. It does not mean I am better. It is simply a fragment of my history. Most of my journey, I have spent alone. Or at least feeling alone. Which at times feels like a water battle left on a table [half full], with no one in sight. I have had seasons of pure fun, with more friendships that most people experience in a life time. I have had other seasons, where the only phone calls I get in weeks are from clients. I am being vulnerable for a moment....not to make you girls say.....awe, Andrea....? But to share this with you....

I am thankful. I am thankful for everything I have seen that I might have missed had my status been different. I am thankful for what I have learned, with and without experience. I am thankful for the one person who has always seen my heart fully. God. I am thankful for what I have not seen that would have been harder to handle if I was aware. We can never be fully in control, even if you are a risk-taker like myself. Sometimes, we end up right back where we began, but the beginning and the ending are not as important as the journey. I have so much to learn and my journey is really only beginning. And your's is as well. I think if we could just look into our hands and see what it is that we have here and do that well....If we were determined enough to just take care of what we have at this time, we would be okay. We will be okay. Andromeda changed her whole identity to finish what she set out to do. She took on a whole new form just to complete what she had determined to do. Will I be faithful to love others enough? Loving is not the hard part, I find. It's the ENOUGH part that makes the question weighted. If that could be my only goal....I want to run off a cliff for it. And I know I'll learn how to fly as I go.