being still

I've been torn between writing about two different subjects this evening. One subject speaking of the unwanted; and the other talking about how we can throw away things of value and substance due to our own impatience. I think, tonight...I'll touch on the latter.

I believe that we do have a creator, God, the one who ultimately knows everything that is going on. Yet, I also believe we have free will. We get to make our own choices. My whole life I have always desired to make the best choices. The right ones. The ones that would set me apart as a woman of value; and naturally I have also always had this ability to to do things really well and make them look so beautiful. The presentation has always been effort-less for me. However, there are some areas that no matter how true to myself I am nor how beautiful I wish it looked...I just can't get it sorted [as the British would say].


I don't think Andromeda was a very patient character. And sadly, neither am I. There are times in life when one should just STOP! An aquaintance of mine said to me a few months back that the best thing to do when you don't know what to do is to do nothing. DO NOTHING????? I thought about her comment for weeks. This concept was so foreign to me. I did not even know how to process those words, let alone, take the advice. But perhaps, there are times when you should just distance yourself and do nothing. [Even while writing this, I have a hard time grasping this concept.] I have always believed that the best thing you can do is to be honest, real, compassionate, and be the person you would like to see, without expectation.

Recently, I encountered a situation in my own life where I had the choice to be me and try to just be genuine, or I could have chosen to be still and do nothing. I doubt that anyone will ever describe me as still. PROBABLY NEVER! But, I sure could use it sometimes. I'm the sort of person who looks at a beautiful cake and wants to take my finger and wipe across the bottom of the cake taking about a tablespoon full of frosting as I go, only to swallow it hoping that no one notices....and then trying to doctor up the frosting as if I had never been there. THIS IS A HORRIBLE TRAIT TO BRING INTO SOME AREAS OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORRIBLE! CAN I JUST SAY HORRIBLE ONE MORE TIME!!! horrible. Sometimes when we mess things up they can't be fixed. Sometimes we don't get the opportunity to be in the exact situation again. We will get other opportunities and life will progress on, but what if we miss out on the very best because we just couldn't be still. In my recent situation I feel as though, I totally messed up what might have been the most beautifully tasting cake. And I have no idea if I'll ever find myself in that same position, nor if I'll find a better cake...sticking with this analogy. Many Christians would argue, but God is in control. I agree. But sometimes, we just mess things up and though He wants to use it for good....It may not have been THE BEST.

Sometimes being still is the best idea. I wish, I had listened. And I'm sorry for that one. Being true to oneself is important, but sometimes I think we should portion ourselves to not explode with our entirety so freely. Many people throughout history have had great destinies, but then acted too quickly or too loudly, or too passionately and messed it up entirely. Having a little discernment on timing would do the fast runners in our society some good, myself included. Moses messed things up and missed out on the Promised Land. Esau was impatient and he gave up wealth and inheritance for SOUP! Sampson spoke too soon and lost all his strength and DIED! In my situation, I am most disappointed in myself, for not just taking some time to just NOT do anything. Doing nothing, might have been the BEST option. Sadly, we only have ourselves to blame for picking at the cake.